View From the Cheap Seats

I love my family, I still pinch myself when I catch myself saying I'm a father. But I have to say, this gig is taking a lot longer than I ever imagined. Several close friends have been having babies lately, as couples in their 20's are want to do. And with these auspicious events, there ensues much joy, celebration, oodleing, ahhhing. You know, adults losing their minds at every burp, pass of gas, diaper change, yawn, smile, pretty much any action of their brilliant child (no new born's IQ is lower than 200).

Now, before you stop reading or call me an Ole' Grouch, let me explain my observations. Parenthood is the biggest "Bait N' Switch" in life. I don't mean that to sound as if I don't like being a father. I absolutely love it. And if you're my age, you'll get exactly what I said. Having a child is a gift that keeps giving and changes every single day. My oldest child alone has been a gift that has given and changed over Eight Thousand Four Hundred times! Let me say that again, 8400! I myself have been giving my parents non-stop joy over 17,000 different days! No need to thank me mom and dad.

I remember seeing the look of parents who had older or adult children as I or my wife would tell them about our children, sometimes they seemed ambivalent. That bothered me at times and even upset me at other times. How can they not see and appreciate my child's uniqueness and brilliance?!?! They were excited and shared in the joy of our children, but it didn't match our excitement or joy. That was a mistake and misunderstanding on my part. Parents can share in the joy of parenting, but complete appreciation of a child is only possible for that child's parents. I realized I was indirectly asking them to admit my child(ren) was more brilliant or unique than theirs. See where I'm going, Parents get to share and need to share in the experience of parenting, but parenting comes down to mom and dad.

God knows this truth and David wrote about it in Proverbs 22:6;

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

I've struggled with this verse from day one. Hidden within that first half (the underlined part) is the most difficult challenge a parent will face, recognizing how your child has been designed by God and working toward that "bent". That's the meaning of "in the way he should go", working to understand their unique design and enabling that for success. No pressure.

Most parents (including us!) try to mold a child in their own image. Big mistake, that's already been done by God. Your children will resemble you, too closely at times. But at the end of the day, they are their own person.


Here's my advice to new parents and it's not original or unique: Enjoy every day. You're in this for the long haul, you have thousands of days before you and you need to conserve your energy. What's unique and original is your child, NOT what they are doing because every kid has done the same thing. Pay attention to how or why they do something or why they don't. Your child is unique and original, there's no one else in the world who's ever been like them or will be like them. You will need God to help you. I'm more and more convinced parenting is the biggest leap of faith anyone can undertake.

God's Speed.....