Face Off

I love and hate facebook. Don't get me wrong, facebook has helped me more than once. But we need to be realistic, facebook is a marketing/ad company. And as such the more information they gather about you the more money they can make off of you. I don't have an issue with that, companies & businesses have always tried to understand their customers. It helps make them better companies.

That's not why I'm weary of facebook. It's the users. I'm amazed at what people will say or reveal on facebook. Truly, truly amazed. We've invented a digital playground where barbs can be thrown from the safety of our living rooms (or basements, the pajama jihad) with little or no fear of reprisal. Here's a simple test to see if what you are about to type should be posted: would you say it to the person(s) face to face. You may say, "Why Eric that is a fantastic idea!", to which I would reply "Yeah, but it's not my idea and it doesn't really work today". That's the point, facebook users can be unfiltered.

Why? Because Facebook has the potential to become our own reality show. You know the type where those being filmed are living a real life drama? Truthfully, most of that drama is staged. The public at large has lost it's appetite for the contrite soap opera of yesteryear and has taken a shine to reality shows. We love to watch the angst of others. We love to watch people fight verbally, tossing jabs at one another with the conviction of self-righteousness. I believe if an intrepid individual created a reality show with a church's staff as the characters, Christians would be glued to their TVs. "Did you see Sister Sarah and Brother Bob go at it over the choir robes!?! My, My!"

We become our own characters in the drama. That's the power and effect facebook exerts over it's members when we are left to our own devices. But, it's not Facebook's fault, it's just a platform. We love a good platform on which we can stand and show the world our brilliance. We haven't changed much through history. In the early days of telephones most local operators were known to stay on the line and listen in on private conversations. Now we could care less who hears what we say, most believe the world would be better off if they'd just listen to them.

I grow weary seeing/reading these type of posts. I wish people were different.

Ironically as I sit in front of my PC using technology to vent my thoughts using another technological wonder, blogging. I realize my biggest fear; Me. I have to watch what I say. For no other reason than not putting my foot in my mouth. I'm better now than I was when younger. I understand now things I spoke stung me more than my intended victim. That's the lesson we all need to learn. Words bite, whether spoken, typed, texted, emailed, or video recorded. They can hang in the aether to come crashing down in the future on the speaker as a painful reminder of past pride. Many of my words in the past haunt me in the present. I so want to take them back.

James teaches a wise lesson in the biblical book that shares his name. In chapter 3 (I'll paraphrase) he says this, the tongue is wicked, it can set a forest on fire by the smallest of words. Yet it can also praise God, there is hope.

Perhaps we need a different platform, one that doesn't put us front and center.

Parents: A Most Peculiar Species

Parents are funny. And I say that as a parent! I've often been in places (insert the typical Wal-Mart joke) and witnessed what some call parenting. My take is not everyone needs to pro-create, and I'm sure there are those who think the same of me. I'm okay with that assessment, every parent questions their ability to parent. But that doesn't mean I'm down on parents, quite the opposite.

Parents are some of the bravest people you will ever meet. Parents take the biggest and most courageous journey by becoming parents. It's a choice, the only time you'll here me use "choice" in reference to becoming a parent.

I used to believe parents were safe, cautious, dull people with little or no personalities or ambition. Parents always said "no" because fun wasn't part of their lives and kept their kids from the real fun in life. I used to believe parents were afraid of life and afraid to LIVE! They were afraid of things that go bump in the night, because no self respecting parent stayed out after 11, or let their kids stay out either.

When I became a parent I found out I was completely wrong.

Parents are the bravest, most courageous people I know. They are men and women who go about their daily lives always thinking of someone else besides themselves. Parents will do this for years, even decades. All in the hope of providing, protecting and caring for their families. They fight day in and day out, keeping their own safe.

A child may look at their parents and falsely believe they look tired and old, even worn out. But I would warn them there in lies the heart of a warrior. Be careful you don't mistake lack of youthful license for obsolescence. You may find that heart aroused, even to take to task an errant child!

A child will not understand nor comprehend a parents heart, words cannot convey a love, dedication or devotion so deep they would forfeit their life for their child. They display that love daily by picking themselves up and marching to their self appointed duty. I didn't fully comprehend that duty initially, but I didn't run from it when it slowly revealed itself as time went by. There were times when I wanted a break but I would look at my kids and recommit myself. Parenting is a choice, not purely an emotion. Parents aren't perfect, that's evident in themselves and their children. But we aren't willing to accept less for our families and continue to strive forward into the breech.

Parents are human, easily wounded by those they love the most. A word or look from a child can cut quicker and deeper than any wound from everyday life. That is the crux of parenting. Often I think of the wounds I inflicted on my parents, it shames me. My parents were gracious and forgiving, to a fault. Too often I've fallen short on that account. I have learned that as time passes by, forgiveness is far more powerful than "a teachable moment".

Parents are never brilliant to their own children, but are often to other children. There were times I wanted different parents. But they were exactly what I needed. This painful truth reveals more about the misunderstanding and general misconception children have than their own parent's skills. 

Given everything, would I do it all over again knowing what I know now? Yes. Of course that's the stereotypical question and answer. I believe the more important question is will I continue? Emphatically, yes. True, once a parent always a parent, but I often see some get fed up and check out. I know that temptation will always be there, but I made the choice to become a parent and I will see this through. 

That brings me to today, Father's Day. I have a good father. Good in the sense he is genuine in his choices, willing to make a decision he feels best affects us all rather than play favorites. I've seen him act that way toward so many others as a Pastor over the years. As a child I was jealous at times, "Why is he treating them better than us!?". In truth he was trying his best to fill a gap as was often the case. I realized later, especially as a father myself, I was blessed having him all the time. 

Dad is also fiercely proud of his family. He may not always convey that in words but he's usually the action behind us getting together on a regular basis. And, he and mom will drive across the country to see us kids and the grand kids. That is literally across the country since all four of his children live in different states.

And that finally brings it to me. I know I was, maybe still, am a challenging child. I didn't hear as much from dad, again he was never one to berate us or scold excessively. But I could see it in his manner and hear it in the silence. I understand now that he probably didn't know what to say or was afraid if he said too much I would bolt. That silence was deafening. It's not the proudest time in my life.

My dad will turn 82 in July and he's still my dad. Nothing more and nothing less, plain and simple. And he chooses to be a Father every day. I can't speak for my siblings, but I am grateful. 

And that is Good. 

I'm blessed. He's the bravest man I know.

My Greatest Joy

What's my greatest joy?

My family, what else.

Boomerang

Lex III: Actioni contrariam semper et æqualem esse reactionem: sive corporum duorum actiones in se mutuo semper esse æquales et in partes contrarias dirigi. Law III: To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction: or the forces of two bodies on each other are always equal and are directed in opposite directions. I thought quoting Newton's Third Law of Motion would make me sound (or read) more intelligent. It would if I didn't have to write something explaining why I used the quote. Well then, it's all downhill from here. I must admit my shock at the backlash to Christianity in America. Mind you, I love studying history and this type of backlash isn't new to us or our time. I thought many of the current issues would would be something I would have to deal with later in life, but time is no one's friend. Still, this time around the gloves have come off and contempt is no longer veiled for anything Christian. I think I'm more shocked by the response from Christians, especially in the political arena. What I'm about to say will get me into trouble with some, but I believe to be true. Electing the "right" of officials will not fix this perceived problem. It's fuzzy math to believe putting the right people in government positions will suddenly dispel the fog. I want to be very clear, I believe faith can and should inform a Christian's vote. But at the end of the day, all officials are in God's Hand. We must trust Him. The boomerang effect on the Christian community is in part the result of our own doing. In 2008 several states voted to add amendments to their constitutions that marriage was between a man and a woman (DOMA). Many of these states were both red and blue states, and the amendments passed by overwhelming majorities. There was a collective sigh of relief from many church leaders, churches and religious organizations. But this would only be a temporary reprieve. Here's where the backlash will get us and reveal the dead-end path that our current approach has become. Voddie Baucham wrote in a recent article (http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/07/19/gay-is-not-the-new-black/), that the issue of same sex marriage is being couched in the same terms as the Civil Rights of the '60s. Therefore, no matter that DOMA amendments were added in 2008 to several states constitutions, if same sex marriage (and many issues by association) becomes the new civil rights, morality can be legislated. It just won't be the type that Christians wanted.  Legislation does not offer a viable alternative to issues of morality, no matter what side of the aisle you are sitting. But you don't hear that in some religious circles. Since I'm Southern Baptist let me pick on us for a moment. We have led the charge on many excellent issues through the ERLC, state convention lobbyists and getting information out about issues of faith. But it often appears we have put our eggs in the wrong basket. To the point, church attendance is declining, baptisms are declining, churches are dying/disappearing and overall belief in God as experienced in a communal setting (i.e., a church) is at an all time low. And we're worried about who's running for office and what they believe! Really!?!? So what do we do? The Church needs to be the Church. Leading the lost to faith in Jesus Christ, discipling believers and building a community of faithful followers. We (Southern Baptists) have been bird-dogging the wrong path. Satan led us down this prime rose, red herring path and we enthusiastically followed. Our greatest strengths of being a "people of the Book" were revealed to be our greatest weaknesses. This is a pure and simple case of believing our own press, that we're the largest protestant denomination and by inference we can throw our weight around to solve all that ails us by demanding our rights. "Squirrel!" anyone? The Church is at its' strongest when it wraps itself in the Gospel. I know what some are going to say, "You just want to stick your head in the sand and ignore these issues that encroach on our religious freedoms." My response: The only freedom that is guaranteed is freedom in Jesus Christ. All else is temporary at best and detrimental in the long term at the worst. I don't want to ignore anything, but the answer isn't found every four years. I love Jesus and He can resolve all issues. How do we accomplish this feat? Love your neighbor. So often I don't hear any love coming from the very people who have received and experienced the Love of God. When your (our) enemy strikes you, don't legislate! Turn the other cheek. Walk the extra mile. Love those who hate you. Go and make right with those who have something against you. I don't believe most churches of any tribe are broken for their communities. They don't love their towns. They've become little kingdoms. It becomes an us and them mentality and a longing for better times. You know what Solomon says about this in Ecclesiastes 7:10? Don't believe the past is the good ole' days, that's not intelligent thought. We will always lose when taken off our God given task. But this world isn't ours to win by any other means but the Great Commission by means of the Great Commandment. Satan can rail against it in any court of the land and always win. Let him! It's an empty victory. He cannot defeat the Gospel. And, he knows it. If Christians can be taken off task, which is often too easy, we become absolutely useless. This should be our rally cry: "Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.”      John 6:68-69

Rules of Engagement

I've enjoyed writing and posting on my blog. I have several notebooks, mainly sermon notes, personal study notes and just notes in general that I'm going through to see what's publishable. Also, I've written 2 other not yet posted posts that I'm crafting to just right reading perfection. I made the commitment to write and publish my work on a regular basis. So far I have met that commitment.

I also made the commitment to be open to comments on my blog, something I am steeling myself to receive. I understand the necessity of being open to comments, but that doesn't mean I will enjoy or understand some comments. I stated in an earlier post that I would not allow comments. This was based on reading comments in the past from various blogs and news sites. I have always been amazed that just because someone has an opinion doesn't mean everyone (or anyone!) wants to read that opinion. I've often thought there are those individuals who appear to take great pleasure in making comments that insight conflict rather than offer something to the discussion. I thought then, as I do now, if you have an opinion get your own blog!

That said, I have some requests about posting comments:

1.  Be to the point. 
2. If possible, be constructive. 
3. These are my opinions, thoughts, ideas, observations, etc., and I'm sure I will make mistakes.
4. I fully own my posts, they're mine and I accept the responsibility of my comments. If I'm wrong I will respond in an appropriate manner and own up when I believe necessary.
5. Own your comments, don't hide behind a pseudonym.
6. Use appropriate language, my kids read my posts. 

That said, comment away.

Authentic

Being an "Authentic Christian" has become something of a buzz phrase recently. So, in my semi-curmudgeon almost hopefully positive outlook, I ask: What is an Authentic Christian? There must be some sort of test, maybe a blood test? Maybe a breathalyzer? There must be some way to find out because the more I look the more confused I become. Everyone has some nifty ideas, the churches/organizations with the hippest multimedia presentations appear to have more on the ball, but that's not saying much. Fellow Christians tell me they want to be "real" in their faith. It's said with a sense of longing, as if they're missing something and can't put their finger on just exactly what they're missing.

Here's some other catch phrases idly tossed about: "Real People, Real Christians" or "Living out our Faith Together" or "Real Answers to Real Problems". Real is used often, to the point it has no meaning. Now, before you take issue with my references, I don't believe any of these are disingenuous, ill-tempered or purposefully misleading. In fact, many churches who employ this type of PR are genuinely genuine and sincere. There's nothing wrong with such communication.

At least not completely. Let me explain. WE (humans in general) want to differentiate ourselves from each other in any way possible. From the clothes we wear, the vehicle we drive, our jobs, education , our kids educations (!), what we eat, where we shop, we will pull away from the other non-real humans in whatever way we can. We want to be different, real and authentic in a fake world. Personally I attribute this type of thinking on my part to the middle child syndrome. You know like this, I will not be like my older siblings, I will be different, better, improved "We have the technology to rebuild him!". Anyway, WE (humans in general) also love to display our individuality by flocking together with other humans who look exactly like us. We're not consistent in our expression of individuality because while we love our individuality, we just don't like doing it alone! Even standouts like a crowd.

I don't know what churches or denominations mean when they use the above descriptors. And, that's the problem, its all about context. Different context means different definitions. Christians so desperately want to be liked or received in our communities that we'll reduce who we are to something palatable for our world. Robert Capon writes in his book The Parables of Grace, "But does the church preach that salty message? Not as I hear it, it doesn't. It preaches the nutra-sweet religion of test-passing, which is the only thing the world is ready to buy and which isn't even real sugar let alone salt."

I know most of the churches that I'm referring are probably great places of worship, following God's will in their lives and reaching the lost. But it's not their realness that separates them, its' Jesus Christ. Christ Alone should be our motto. The church shouldn't differentiate itself by clever marketing or snazzy catch phrases. We should differentiate ourselves by how different we are in, by and through Jesus Christ. In truth, the world in which we live despises individuality and cherishes conformity. We can only be free in Jesus Christ. We can only understand our place (our individuality) in Him.

The Apostle Paul called himself a bond-servant of Jesus. He would also write to several churches instructing them that we (mankind) are slaves to sin. He would encourage them to be bond-servants of Jesus. Yes, he said become a slave of Jesus Christ. I don't know if this means being an authentic christian. But I would rather be a slave of Jesus than a slave of this world any day of the week.

Hello, my name is Eric....

NOTE: I began this post July 10th in Jefferson City early in the morning before the Executive Board meeting. Hey, I'm not the fastest writer.

I'm sitting at Dunn bros coffee enjoying my just roasted and brewed coffee, listening to some modern beatnik music on the PA, typing on my iPad. I'm even wearing my birkenstocks! I feel very hip...actually I'm not that impressed with my surroundings or the ambiance. I'm not here for the "I want to support coffee farmers in third world countries thru free trade programs" attitude. I've been in third world countries and I'm not impressed by that program either.  Then why be here!? Cause I like coffee, or more accurately, I'm addicted to coffee and I'm addicted to really good coffee. I have a coffee jones. There, I admitted it, I'm an addict. You know, "Hello, my name is Eric and I'm a ..." I'm not sure if it's just a physical addiction or psychological addiction. Probably both. 

My addiction knows no bounds, I'll go to crazy lengths to get a cup. Drive out of the way, plan a trip with coffee stops along the way, even going without regular coffee if I cant get my fix of the good stuff. Eric, you may say, why not just drink regular coffee, it's all the same isn't it? Well in fact it's not the same. 

This little caveat brings us to a reality, we are all addicts of something. Food, coffee, books, hobbies, family, job, STUFF. And when you have an addiction, you become a connoisseur of that addiction. Coffee isn't just coffee anymore. There's different types of beans, different roasting methods, different tastes, etc. We break down our addiction so it becomes easier to rationalize. I suppose we think if we sound intelligent about our addictions, it's not an addiction it's a choice. You know, a well thought out, researched and informed choice. 


Intelligent people can't be addicts or controlled by anything. They're to well informed and smart. Those Wile E. Coyote addictions need not apply here, this Road Runner is too swift for your likes!


In truth, humans are predictable. And I mean very predictable. Otherwise marketing departments would be out of business. We are too simple, press a button here on an emotion and presto we react in a predictable manner. Satan knows this, all he has to do is wait for us. We become our own worst enemy. And it doesn't even have to be a big temptation just a moment forgetfulness or distraction. Now, I know we aren't perfect, that's not the point. The point is when you do fall, repent and ask God to forgive with one caveat, don't do it again. 


It's one thing to slip up, it's another when you do the same thing over and over again. Which brings me back to the beginning. We are all addicts of something, which means we are always going to slip up. If that bothers you then good, it should. But don't go breakin' God's heart and try and fix your own problems. Let His grace cover you. Let me describe this as a dialogue:


Me/You: God I did it again! I can't believe this, and I thought I was paying attention.
God: You were, but you aren't perfect.
Me/You: But I'm suppose to be perfect like you and Jesus are. I've got to try harder. I promise I'll do better.
God: And where has that gotten you so far?
Me/You: Well, close anyway. I'm missing something some where.
God: You are, Me.
Me/You: But, I want to please you.
God: You are. Trust me, I got this one. What you've been doing will only take you so far. And you still have a long way to go. I have to make up the difference.
Me/You: But that means I'm weak!
God: Yes you are. 
Me/You: I want to be strong!
God: You will be in Me not in you. It's OK. My Grace is sufficient. 

Crazy Grace

So let it be written...

I have often considered writing, exactly why I'm not sure. I don't think in words per se, I think conversationally. Talking suits me, it always has more than writing. Writing has always been more like passing a kidney stone, one the size of a bowling ball. I think/speak much quicker than I can write. I've tried tape recording or even using my phone to record my thoughts, but I looked weird and got some very interesting looks.


I don't have any delusions of grandeur, this process will be more therapeutic than anything else. Whether anyone reads what I write isn't all that important to me. I'm more entertained reading my past posts (I have kinda  kept a journal), I just make myself laugh! You may believe that sounds mental, but its OK to talk to yourself and even answer yourself. It's when you begin to ignore yourself and saying "I'm not listening to you!" when no one is around that you've got problems.


Most posts will be in a conversational tone, I'll address you (or someone) as if you're sitting in front of me. I may even include contact information. So if you really enjoy what I write you can puff up my ego! If you don't like what I write, keep it to yourself. Just make sure if you reference my material you spell my name correctly. If I'm going to be burned in effigy, I'd prefer proper annotations.

That brings me to some ground rules. This is a blog, not a forum. So there won't be a comment section. You can contact me (again, if contact information is posted on the blog) with any comments or questions.

And in the same manner as Treebeard, “…it takes a long time to say anything in Old Entish. And we never say anything unless it is worth taking a long time to say.”


Eric